If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
