I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
