He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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