Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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