My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I haven't been this sober since birth.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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