accomplished twins. life is a go
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
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He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
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Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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