Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
