so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
