I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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