i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
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