I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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