Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
