i just google imaged poop.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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