she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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