i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
