He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
