watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
