I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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