your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
When are your genitals available?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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