He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
