what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
