last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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