I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
