You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
how drunk are you?
Several
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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