She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
