It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
