yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
