Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
