Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
