I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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