Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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