PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Don't make out with my wife yet
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
