Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
