i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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