No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
