I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
he was CRYING into my vagina
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
