i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
