who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
