i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
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I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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