So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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