where am i from again
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
