It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
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