Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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