I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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