Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
