Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
