Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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