Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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