you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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