Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize