he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
