I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
