I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
