So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
The adults are the big ones right?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
