i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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