This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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