Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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