I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Randomize
