I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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