drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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